The alarm goes off, you have a full day ahead, and your child is curled up under the duvet saying their tummy hurts. Are they genuinely unwell, or is it a case of Monday-morning dread? Every parent knows the guesswork, and getting it wrong in either direction brings its own worries. Keep a poorly child off unnecessarily and they miss learning; send a sick one in and you risk spreading something round the class and being called back an hour later.
Here is a practical way to make the call with more confidence.
The quick morning check
Start with the basics rather than the complaints. A child who is pale, flushed, unusually quiet or clearly in pain is telling you something, even if the symptoms are vague. Take their temperature. A reading of 38°C or above usually means a day at home.
Ask yourself one honest question: would they manage a normal school day? A child who perks up after breakfast and starts asking about screen time is probably fine to go in. A child who cannot lift their head from the sofa is not.
When home is the right answer
Some situations are straightforward. Keep your child off school if they have:
– A fever of 38°C or higher
– Sickness or diarrhoea (and for 48 hours after the last episode)
– Chickenpox, until every spot has crusted over
– Conjunctivitis with significant discharge, until treatment has started
– A persistent, chesty cough or breathing difficulties
These are not just about your own child’s comfort. They protect classmates, teachers and families with newborns or vulnerable relatives at home.
The grey areas
Most mornings are less clear-cut. A mild cold, a single sneeze, a slightly sore throat or a headache that eases with water and breakfast rarely justifies a day off. Children who learn that minor niggles mean staying home can find the pattern hard to shake, which is why building resilience matters as much as treating symptoms. Settings that balance pastoral care with strong attendance habits tend to help children recover their confidence quickly, and choosing a nurturing prep school that supports a child’s wellbeing alongside their learning makes those grey-area mornings easier to navigate.
If you are genuinely unsure, phone the school office. They deal with these questions every day and would far rather advise you than have you agonising alone.
Getting them back on their feet
Once your child is on the mend, ease them back in. A quiet evening, an early night and a proper breakfast do more than any amount of fussing. Keep them hydrated, resist the urge to overload them with activities, and give their body the rest it needs to finish the job.
When they do return, a brief word with the class teacher helps. Let the school know what has been going on so staff can keep an eye out and help your child catch up without pressure. At Banstead Preparatory School, staff see this kind of partnership with parents as part of everyday care, and a short conversation often smooths the transition back into the classroom.
Trust your instincts
No guide replaces the knowledge you have of your own child. You know when their complaint is a genuine wobble and when it is a bid to avoid a spelling test. Use the practical markers above as a framework, but lean on your judgement too. And when symptoms are severe, unusual or simply not improving, speak to your GP rather than waiting it out.
A sick day handled calmly teaches children something useful: that rest is sensible, recovery takes a little patience, and getting back to normal is always the goal.
For more about the school’s approach to pastoral care and family partnership, visit https://bansteadprep.com.
—
*This article was contributed by the team at Banstead Preparatory School, an independent school for boys and girls in Banstead, Surrey. Banstead Prep offers a warm, family-focused environment where academic ambition sits alongside genuine care for each child’s wellbeing. The school supports families through every stage of their child’s early education, from the Nursery years through to the move on to senior school.*